The last year has been eye opening.
For the first time in 4 years, I forced myself to go to the doctor. Over the years, I had experienced the occasional health problem, but nothing I considered significant. My mother died at a young age, and I know, I know, given that history alone, I should be much more aware and conscientious of my own health, but I am ashamed to say I have neglected to be.
As I stepped onto the scale in that doctor’s office, I watched with one eye shut as the scale teeter tottered and finally landed on a number completely foreign to me. I had never seen a number so high in relation to my own body, but there I was. No hiding. No ignoring.
They say that the number on the scale doesn’t define you, but that day, it did. It defined for me just how unhealthy I had become. It defined all the years I had put others’ needs before my own. It defined all the meals I thought I could write off as my last hurrah. It defined my future, which at that moment, was looking bleak if I didn’t make some changes immediately.
Although I thanked my body for bringing me to that point with few complaints, and even less appreciation from it’s owner, it was time to take control and get to a place of health. As my 30th birthday circled in, closer and closer, I was determined to enter that day better than the day before, better than the day I stepped on that scale, not just mentally or emotionally, but physically as well.
So what happened? Did I make that radical change and float into my 30th birthday a new, improved, healthier version of me? No.
I have not taken care of my body in the way it demands, and more importantly, the way it deserves. But why? Why after that day of embarrassment and sadness didn’t I make the changes and take control of my life?
Well, I did. For a few solid months, I started a strict diet and exercise program – and I lost just over 20 lbs! Great right? Not so much. I created such a strict regimen for myself that there was absolutely no way I could keep it up long term. Life happened. I started working longer and longer hours, lessening my workouts, increasing my food intake and before I knew it, I was right back to where I started.
The holidays came and went and I rang in the new year with family and friends. We had fun, but still, when picture time came around, “how can I hide my body?” was the first thought on my mind. On the outside, bold red lipstick, dolled up hair, I seemed confident, but on the inside, all I wanted to do was crawl away and hide.
So why now? Why is this time going to work? Because I’m setting a new standard for myself. I’m no longer going to allow “fine” to be my norm.
You know when you ask someone how they are and they just reply with, “fine”… it’s sorta annoying, right? Fine? What does that even mean?!? To me, it means you are just getting by, nothing super great, but nothing terribly wrong is going on. I don’t want to live that way any longer.
I want to embrace all life has to offer and in order to do that, I’m going to need my body to be in tip-top shape. So, today, I stepped on the scale again and instead of looking at that number in defeat, I looked at it as a challenge to crush!
Do you have any fitness goals? Have you lost weight and want to share you success?! I’d love to hear from you!
For a blast from the past, some strange motivation, or a straight up laugh, check out Olivia Newton-John’s Physical video! God bless the 80s!